Church Bloopers

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.


On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Potluck supper: Prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.